n******8
发帖数: 558 | 1 Beehive
In a garden fly many a bee,
sipping flesh of blossoming lavender.
They sing mesmerizing glee,
extracting souls with their painless catheter.
Lavender thrives in sunshine,
and allure bees to strive.
At night bees return to their shrine,
and nurture souls to sweet in a beehive. | l*****l
发帖数: 4170 | | n******8
发帖数: 558 | 3 嗯哪 俺写的时候没啥情绪
【在 l*****l 的大作中提到】
: 意象和押韵都好。情绪上弱了点。
| l*****l
发帖数: 4170 | 4 一看就是生活很安逸很爽的那种，无忧无虑地。
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: 嗯哪 俺写的时候没啥情绪
| wh
发帖数: 141625 | 5 最后一段的to是too吗？
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: Beehive
: In a garden fly many a bee,
: sipping flesh of blossoming lavender.
: They sing mesmerizing glee,
: extracting souls with their painless catheter.
: Lavender thrives in sunshine,
: and allure bees to strive.
: At night bees return to their shrine,
: and nurture souls to sweet in a beehive.
| a***u
发帖数: 4334 | 6 不错！53俱乐部能够想到和WASP斗争，证明思想境界很高。
我认识的53大都是跪舔WASP，天天骂兔子，彰我出优。
【在 n******8 的大作中提到】
: Beehive
: In a garden fly many a bee,
: sipping flesh of blossoming lavender.
: They sing mesmerizing glee,
: extracting souls with their painless catheter.
: Lavender thrives in sunshine,
: and allure bees to strive.
: At night bees return to their shrine,
: and nurture souls to sweet in a beehive.
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