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NCTU版 - politicians humor (zz)
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相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: he话题: she话题: asked话题: said话题: new
进入NCTU版参与讨论
1 (共1页)
c*******d
发帖数: 1763
1
1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke)
, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the
flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm
not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa .''
His response -- click..
3.A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando
. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
THIN state!!'' (OMG)
4.I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a
car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that.
7.A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT
- Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag
on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would
it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents
she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''
12A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!
Could ANYONE be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
c*******d
发帖数: 1763
2
1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke)
, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the
flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm
not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa .''
His response -- click..
3.A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando
. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
THIN state!!'' (OMG)
4.I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a
car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that.
7.A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT
- Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag
on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would
it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents
she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''
12A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!
Could ANYONE be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
1 (共1页)
进入NCTU版参与讨论
相关主题
16年10.11rd还没有EAD消息GREEN + Experience sharing
用工作地址来联系议员?民主党国会女议员也被男议员抓猫
NSC Eb1A 爆绿Do something about visa appointment
请问下如何找议员催绿上海签证预约的问题
一个有利Legal Immigrants的新议案议员office回话了(求bless+心得)
Lawmakers Push Immigration/UAFA请大家支招,5月初的485没有任何消息,想给USCIS发complain的信,但是找不到置顶的帖子了,大家能帮个忙吗?
白宫常客Bob Creamer规划了奥巴马医保和大赦的蓝图Bless...Response from Senator
UA美联航又在找抽,把一等舱白女赶走给黑妖精让座EAD/AP 求 Bless
相关话题的讨论汇总
话题: he话题: she话题: asked话题: said话题: new